when u think yr drawing looks great but then u flip the canvas
Become a figure skater they said
it will be fun they said
-Sir, we’ve found this and we needed you to name it.
-But we figured we might as well just call it “Ananas” since the majority of the world refers to it as-
CRYING I HAVE TO REBLOG IM SORRY OMFG
LOL THIS IS THE GREATEST.
If this doesn’t perfectly sum up the English language I don’t know what does
Ananas is too close to Bananas
do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?
This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.
^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.
In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.
It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.
I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.
“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.
“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.
Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.
same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM
when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,
and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.
so of course i came back with
moving out of the way for them as i walked.
he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.
i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.
taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.
It’s also why you can seriously freak people out if you’re a woman by sitting back in your chair and draping your arm over the backrest of the one beside it.
It’s claiming space, and more importantly, it’s powerful body language. In primates (including humans), the individual that “opens” its chest—that is, leaves it open to attack—is the most dominant of them, precisely because it shows a confidence that no one WILL attack you.
Look at someone who’s comfortable vs someone who’s uncomfortable—the uncomfortable person will inevitably cross their arms or cover their chest to in an instinct to protect the thoracic cavity.
So, when you want to look HELLA confident, open up your chest and make direct eye contact. It feels weird (for women!) at first, but it’s the fastest way to freak a dude out. They genuinely do not know what to do when a woman displays behaviour they recognize as confident.
This was interesting. Literally never thought about it before.
this is it. this is the most important gif on tumblr.com
no okay but let me tell you a story
so at school I’m generally a pretty quiet person. I talk to a few people, I have a few friends, but I keep to myself a lot. So anyway, during lunch I’m on tumblr mobile, and this thing comes up. I put the gif onto full screen, and kind of half laugh at it. Then this guy who I have literally never talked to before walks by and then slowly back up and starts looking at my phone screen. I try to explain what I’m looking at, but really, how the hell do you explain this? Anyway, he waves over one of his friends so his friend comes over and looks at it. I’m still sitting in my chair, and we are all still completely silent. Soon more people begin to gather. 12 people, to be exact. 12 people, many of which I have never spoken to before, standing in a large, silent, ritual-esque circle around my iphone which is playing this gif on loop. After about five minutes, the first guy goes “how long is this?” and I was like “uh, its, um, its a gif, so it kind of goes on forever.” he nods and says “perfect”. These were the only words spoken throughout this whole event.
Congratulations to Uzo Aduba and Joe Porton for scoring their first Emmy!
Uzo Aduba who plays Suzanne ‘Crazy Eyes’ Warren on Orange Is The New Black won a Creative Arts Emmy for her Outstanding Guest Actress.
Joe Morton who plays Rowan Pope on Scandal won a Creative Arts Emmy for her Outstanding Guest Actor.
YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! MY BABY UZO!!!!!!!!!!!
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
how to tell if someone is really bisexual:
- if a true bisexual utters their name backwards, it will send them back to their home dimension for a minimum of 90 days.
- fire type bisexuals will always be able to learn the move solarbeam, unless they are flareon.
- biologically, bisexuals are incapable of going down stairs.
- some bisexuals are unable to cast a shadow, though this is currently up for debate
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it.
Fuckin’ octopuses, man.
Just a reminder to the world that there is this glorious feminist thing called the Hawkeye Initiative. Where people draw Hawkeye (and possibly other avengers) in various sexual poses that comic artists generally depict women in.
the greatest thing in the universe.
Goat gives it all it’s got
dude: aww, that’s so wimpy, come on, give it all you got! GO!
this is so important
I NEED THIS GOAT
Headcanon that after the battle of Hogwarts, George dyes his hair an outrageous colour, and at first Molly is mad, but then she hears George whisper “I kept thinking it was him in the mirror”.